Les répliques cultes saison 1 VO

1x01 - Pilot

Future Ted: Kids, I'm gonna' tell you an incredible story - the story of how I met your mother.
Son: Are we being punished for something?

~¤~

Lily: Wow, you're cooking?
Marshall: Yes, I am.
Lily: Awww. Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.

~¤~

 

Marshall: Oh, hey, look what I got? (brings out bottle of champagne and hands it to Lily)
Lily: Aww, honey. Champagne. (hands bottle back to Marshall)
Marshall: Yeah. (hands bottle back to Lily)
Lily: No, you are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.

~¤~

Barney: Why are we still sitting here? Let's go, we can still make last call. What do you say, Lil? Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum? Coz you're a pirate?

 

1x02 - Purple Giraffe

Lily: Look who I ran into.
Ted: Since when do you guys know each other?
Robin: Since about, here. (points to top of glass)

~¤~

Barney: Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
Lily: You waited five minutes to tell me that?

~¤~

Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever.

~¤~

Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"

~¤~

Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height.

 

1x03 - Sweet Taste of Libery

Barney: It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is...DAIRY!

~¤~

Carl: Compliments of that guy. (lifts drink towards Robin and Lily)
Lily: Really? Sweet.
Carl: Oh, for you, it's $6.

~¤~

Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you.
Barney: Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool. 

~¤~

Robin: Lily's phone.
Marshall: Robin, where's Lily? Is she talking to some hot guy? Well, you can tell me, it's totally cool, it was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off.
Robin: Really? I thought it was kinda weird, but if you're cool with it, yeah, it's off and she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and...
Marshall: No, don't interrupt, it's awesome. So, the ring's really off. Awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she's... awesome. (hangs up phone and starts singing) Really, really awesome. Our relationship is built on mutual trust. Can't breathe.

~¤~

Marshall: Back off, hombre. I'm not that afraid to fight you. You wanna test this, guy? Be my guest.
Lily: Marshall, he's gay.
Marshall: Oh, thank God, I've never been in a fight before. 

 

1x04 - Return of the Shit

Barney: There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.

~¤~

Robin: So I'm not gonna jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks.
Barney: Of course not, because now you're saying "nipple" and it's 100. Step into my web.

~¤~

Ted: Mm, who's bourbon is this?
Lily: I don't know. It was here when we sat down.

~¤~

Robin: So, next time you're passing City Hall, make sure and stop by New York's oldest hot dog cart. Today a delicious hot dog will cost you $2.50, but back when the stand first opened in 1955, you could get one for only a nipple. Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News 1.

~¤~

Barney: Hey, is it cold in here? 'Cause I can kinda see Robin's nickels.

 

1x05 - Okay Awesome

Future Ted: So, kids, would you like to hear the story of the time I went deaf?
Son: Why does he even ask?
Daughter: I know, he's just gonna tell us anyway.

~¤~

Robin: He's even getting me into the VIP room.
Barney: He just wants to show you his own VIP, if you know what I mean.
Robin: All right, what does VIP stand for in your little universe?
Barney: Well, I know that the 'P' is penis.

~¤~

Lily: Marshall and I are just growing up.
Marshall: And it's gonna be sweet, too. Like tonight, we're tasting all these different wines, pairing them up with these cool, gourmet cheeses.
Barney: Wow. Who knew being in a committed heterosexual relationship could make a guy so gay.
Ted: All right, cool kids are leaving now. Grandma, grandpa, don't wait up. 

~¤~

Nerdy Guy #3: Oh, come on, he just got here.
Nerdy Guy #1: Probably famous.
Nerdy Guy #2: Oh yeah, isn't there a third Affleck brother? Keith Affleck or Brian Affleck or something.
Nerdy Guy #3: Holy crap, we just saw Brian Affleck! 

~¤~

Robin: (on phone) ...and it's not like I care so much about getting into the VIP room. I have been in tons of VIP rooms. Not exactly a VIP room virgin.

1x06 - Slutty Pumpkin

Robin: He's not my boyfriend. He's just this guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks.
Lily: (in a sing-song voice) Boyfriend.
Marshall: So why haven't we met him?
Robin: We're not really ready to go public yet.
Barney: (in a sing-song voice) Married.

~¤~

Lily: How about a Halloween double-date?
Robin: I don't know, we were kinda thinking about staying at home and dressing up as naked people.

~¤~

Barney: (about the "Slutty Pumpkin" girl) You know, Ted, it's been four years. She could be engaged or married or, God forbid, fat.

~¤~

Lily: We are so gonna win the costume contest this year.
Marshall: First prize, $50 gift certificate at the bar.
Ted: And how much did you pay for your costumes?
Marshall: $100
Lily: Each.

~¤~

Mike: Where's your costume, Gretel?
Robin: You thought I was...Oh, I was just kidding. I gotta stop making jokes in e-mails. It's so hard to convey tone. 

 

1x07 - Matchmaker

Ellen: All finished, gentlemen? Congratulations, you have just taken your very first step.
Barney: Gosh, thanks, Ellen. I sure hope this works. I'm so done with the single life, all the games, the meaningless sex.
Ellen: You deserve more.
Barney: That is so true, Ellen. I really think I'm ready to stop being a 'me' and start being a 'we'. Hey, is there anyway I can let it be known that I love cuddling?
Ellen: Oh, of course you can. That is so...
Barney: It's kinda hard to talk about with Ted here, but I just want someone who's not afraid to hold me at night when the tears come. Ellen, can you help me find her?
Ellen: Get out.

~¤~

Lily: OK, it's back and this time we got a good look. (sits by Barney and takes his drink)
Barney: Hey, seriously, you have to stop doing that.
Marshall: It's bigger now. It's been feeding.

~¤~

Ellen: How do I say this? This is gonna be really hard. Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you. Phew, actually I got through that OK.

~¤~

Ellen: How do you think I feel? I have a 100% success rate. It's my hook. I could probably find somebody for you if you were gay.
Ted: Well, I'm not.
Ellen: A little bi maybe?

~¤~

Lily: He's a whole new species. The cockamouse.
Marshall: And it's the size of a potato.
Robin: So, what, now it's a cockapotatomouse?
Marshall: Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse.

 

1x08 - The Duel

Daughter: Wait, her apartment? I thought Aunt Lily lived with you and Uncle Marshall.
(flashback to Lily and Robin walking to Lily's apartment)
Lily: I could see how you would think that but I have to have my own place. It's an independence thing.
Robin: When was the last time you were there?
Lily: Three months ago. What? It's like fat pants. You hope you never have to use them but you're glad to know they're there.

~¤~

Waitress: Hi, how many? Lily.
Lily: Yes, you know me?
Waitress: Yeah, from your homecoming picture. You're much prettier in person.
Lily: Yeah, I know, the bangs were a mistake.

~¤~

Marshall: Also Lily's coffeemaker doesn't, you know, shock you.
Ted: No. You gotta admit, that shock, wakes you up in the morning
Marshall: You know what else wakes you up in the morning? Coffee.

~¤~

Ted: They're edging me out. They're totally edging me out. I didn't' believe it but you're right.
Barney: Told you. That Lily, she's a shrewd one.
Robin: Yeah, she got you a nice new coffeemaker. How dare she!

~¤~

Lily: Man, Ted's been acting weird. He started labeling all his food. He even carved "Ted" into that block of cheese.
Marshall: Yeah. Well, now it's Ed's.

 

1x09 - Belly Full of Turkey

Robin: Have you met Ted?
Ted: I am the aforementioned Ted.
Amanda: Cool, so what do you do around here?
Ted: Well... I... uh... I do nothing, absolutely nothing.
Amanda: Well, I think I can find something for you and your girlfriend to do.
Ted: Oh, she's not my girlfriend.
Robin: I'm his ex-girlfriend. I just wasn't enough woman for him. Emotionally... or sexually. [goes up behind Amanda] Oh... my... God.

~¤~

Barney: Okay, Ted. I found a way for you to help someone, to do some good. This is Walter. Walter is homeless. And Walter would like a lap dance.
Ted: Are you joking?
Barney: I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.

~¤~

[about having to do community service after being caught urinating in public]
Barney: I was unfarely punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church.
Ted: You peed on a church?
Barney: I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see, because I was drunk!
Ted: [happily] You *are* evil!
Robin: All is right with the world again.

Barney: I've done so much good today, I've got, like, a 'soul boner.

~¤~

Robin: I am Canadian. Remember? We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.
Ted: Oh right I forgot. You guys are weird and you pronounce the word 'out' ,'oot'.
Robin: You guys are the world's leader in hand gun violence; your health care system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.
Ted: (pause) Your cops are called 'mounties'

 

1x10 - The Pineapple Incident

Lily: These look kinda like blood.
Marshall: OK, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?
Barney: That's ridiculous.
Marshall: I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.
Robin: Oh my God, that does describe a vampire, or you know, a bartender.

~¤~

Marshall: OK, think about this, is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?
Lily: Garlic fries.
Marshall: OK, well, I'll get back to you.

~¤~

Barney: That's the whole point of getting drunk. You do things you would never do in a million years if you were sober.
Lily: Says every girl you've ever slept with.

~¤~

Ted: (to Robin) I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes. 

~¤~

Lily: There's a girl in there.
Ted: I know.
Marshall: And a pineapple.
Ted: I know.
Lily: Who is she?
Ted: I don't know.

 

1x11 - The Limo

Barney: Ranjit! Dude, you're driving a limo now. That's awesome.
Ranjit: I've moved up in the world.

~¤~

Barney: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
Lily: Barney, none of us really liked her.
Barney: What?!
Lily: Sorry.
Barney: Oh, very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose to turn my front on her.

~¤~

Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs

~¤~

Lily: Who was that guy?!
Barney: Well, we know it's not Moby and it's not Tony.

~¤~

Marshall: I couldn't find Lily at party number three so I walked... I walked to the next party on the list.
Ted: Not Moby's party?
Marshall: Yes, Moby's party. Check it out. He signed my shirt. (shows the back of the shirt where the name "ERIC" is written)

 

 

1x12 - The wedding

Future Ted: When you're single and your friends start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. Will you be bringing a guest or will you be attending alone? What it's really asking is where do you see yourself in three months? Sitting next to your girlfriend or hitting on a bridesmaid? I always checked that I was bringing a guest. I was an optimist.

 ~¤~

Ted: Our friends Claudia and Stuart are having this crazy, black-tie wedding on Saturday. You wanna be my 'plus one'?
Robin: Ooh, 'plus one', you make it sound so romantic.

 ~¤~

Lily: You can always ask Stuart.
Ted: Can I do that?
Lily: Sure, you guys have been friends for a long time, and it's 40% his wedding too.

 ~¤~

Ted: Wow, thanks for being so cool about this 'cause you know Claudia said...
Stuart: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This morning at the rehearsal, Claudia called our 7-year-old flower girl a whore. So, don't take it personally, she's just a little stressed.

 ~¤~

Lily: Honey, this magazine says more and more couples are opting to have nontraditional weddings out in the woods.
Marshall: Well, if a magazine says so, we should go get married in the woods like a couple of squirrels.
Lily: Squirrels don't get married, Marshall.
Marshall: Like you could possibly know that.

1x13 - Drumroll, Please

Ted: Listen I'm calling because last night I met this girl, and I was wondering if you had--
Claudia: Oh you have got to be freaking kidding me!
Stuart: Oh here we go...
Claudia: Twenty-four hours ago you were begging--begging--me to bring some other girl to my wedding and now, wa-what, you're over her?
Ted: I've moved on?

 ~¤~

Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real.
Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there--I'm not gonna lie to you--big time thunderbolt.
Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.
Ted: Sadly, not out of character.

 ~¤~

Marshall: Maybe she was a ghost. That's why she didn't want to kiss you because you'd pass right through her and get really cold for a second. Oh my God, I just had a great idea for a screenplay.
Ted: Marshall, she was not a ghost.
Marshall: I know she wasn't a ghost. She picked up a bouquet proving she had corporeal form.

 ~¤~

Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you?
Marshall: It haunts me

 ~¤~

Ted: Great I'm gonna need you to call her for me.
Barney: You know I won't.
Ted: Why not?
Barney: Because we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day, I have to wait at least like...forever, Oh Snap! Nevergonnacallher

1x14 - Zip, Zip, Zip

Barney: It makes a lot of sense! We both think that marriage commitment thing it's a drag, we both want something casual and fun and we clearly get along really well.
Robin: Uau, that actually give a lot of sense!

~¤~

Robin: No. I thought we're just hanging out as friends.
Barney: Oh, come on. You've been throwing yourself at me all night.
Robin: What? I did the opposite, I threw some other girl at you.
Barney: You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?

~¤~

 (talking to Ted)
Marshall: Two days straight?
Lily: Wow, your room must smell like a monkey cage.

~¤~

Ted: (narrating) When you meet someone special, suddenly life's full of firsts: the first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. For me, all those firsts happened within 48 hours of meeting Victoria.

~¤~

Robin: Well, it looks like it's gonna be just you and me.
Barney: Really!?
Robin: (a bit surprised) Actually, I was talking to my martini.

 

1x15 - Game Night

Barney: Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the Re-return. I finally nailed Shannon. Told her I'd call her tomorrow...ayeah, right! And I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres! (the rest of the group is silent)
Marshall: I think Barney just won game night.

~¤~

Marshall: Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs.

~¤~

Older Ted:We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.

~¤~

Marshall: Well, we have the whole place to ourselves...
Lily: I'm thinking...floor sex!
Marshall: Sounds reasonable.

~¤~

Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
(action pauses)
Older Ted: Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great.
[unpauses after she's told them all the story]
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!

 

1x16 - Cupcake

Ted: Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.

~¤~

Lily: (upon the perfect wedding dress she just found) Okay, okay, how much is it on a scale from "never" to "never ever"?
Robin: Never ever, ever ever ever times infinity.

~¤~

Lily: (Trying on wedding dresses) Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.

~¤~

Robin: Short in the front, long in the back, that is the mullet of wedding dresses.

~¤~

Barney: Hey look, do you want a quality suit and a free rabbit or not?

 

1x17 - Life Among the Gorillas

Barney (to Marshall): Look at you. You suited in an unmistakably upward direction.

~¤~

Barney: Marshall, I should feel tremors of psych-itude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Marshall: Wow, that was really specific.

~¤~

Robin: (Lustily looking at Ted) Oh, Teddy boy!

~¤~

Barney: (To Marshall) You're different. Now I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake you are or you could change your entire personality - which is just so much easier!

~¤~

Lily:(shows Marshall new painting) What do you think?
Marshall: Steak Sauce!
Lily: Steak Sauce?
Marshall: Yea!

 

1x18 - Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.

Marshall: Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
Barney: That is a lie!
Marshall: It is not a lie.
Barney: Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!
Marshall: I'll show you things you never seen before!
Barney: I used to box in the Army!

~¤~

Lily: Go home Ted!
Ted: Okay.
Lily: (looking relieved) He's going home.
Barney: He's so not going home.
Marshall: (to Lily) I can't believe you just told him that!
Barney: Lily, here is what you just said - Ted, whatever you do, don't go up there, there is a beautiful girl who wants to have sex with you!
Marshall: And then she's going to make you some delicious juice!

~¤~

Barney: So Robin, do you ever, uhh, report on train wrecks? Because (long pause), I just saw one! Whaaatt uppp! (To kid in class) Tiny five!

~¤~

Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing all that monumental happens, but by the end of it you have no idea who you are or what the hell you are doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?
Ted: (smiles) Uhh, about once a week.
Robin: I don't know, it was just a rough day, and the only person I wanted to see at the end of it was you!

~¤~

Ted: I'm going over to this girl's house to make juice.
Taxicab driver: Nice!
Ted: Oh no, it's not like that, we're juicing as friends.

 

1x19 -  Mary the Paralegal

Ted: I should just skip this thing entirely. Robin is still pissed at me after, you know.
Barney: You lied and said you were broken up with Victoria before you actually were, so you could try and nail Robin and you end up loosing both girls in one night.
Ted: Yes, that's what I meant by "you know".

~¤~

Ted: So Sandy, what do you do? Oh, wait, I know what you do. You're the guy who reads the paper in the morning.
Sandy Rivers: You got me. What do you do, Ted?
Ted: Oh same thing as you. I read the paper every morning. But then after that, I finish my coffee and go to my real job as an architect, where I make an actual contribution to the world. (laughs) I'm just kidding. Love your show. You're terrific.
Sandy Rivers: Thanks. I never tire of hearing that.

~¤~

Ted: You know Mary, I've, ah, never done this before.
Mary: Done what?
Ted: You know. Been "on a date."
Mary: Right... Wait, you're kidding right?
Ted: No. Why? Is that so odd?
Mary: Well, Ted, I mean, I've been going on dates since I was 15.
Ted: God you were just a kid. Well, look. Let's just have a few drinks. We'll relax.
Mary: Yeah, that sounds great. I had clients riding me all day long.
Ted: Must be tough.
Mary: Yeah, I mean, this one guy just wouldn't leave me alone. I mean, talk about anal.

~¤~

Barney: Do it! Come on Ted, do it! It's one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.
Ted: What? Sleep with a prostitute?
Barney: No, lose your virginity! What Up!

~¤~

Ted: I feel like Richard Gere.
Mary: You're not shy about your looks, are you?

 

1x20 - Best Prom Ever

(Marshall and Ted get in and a guy in a turtle costume approaches)
Turtle: Ok, just be cool, don't look at me.
Ted: Ok.
Turtle: How did you get in here?
Marshall: You tell me, giant turtle.
Turtle: It's me, Barney!

~¤~

Barney: We'll just sneak in.
Marshall: We are not sneaking in to a high school prom.
Lily: Yes we are, it's the only way.
Ted: You are getting on board with Barney's idea? Man, you really have snapped.

~¤~

Marshall: It'll be cool. I'll tell you what, we'll make a game out of it. First one to stuff a hundred invitations gets a big prize.
Ted: Do I look like I'm four? (pause) All right, what kind of prize are we talkin' about?

~¤~

Robin: And look, you can still travel, you can still paint, and as far as your lesbian experience. (kisses Lily) Happy?
Lily: Yeah. So, field hockey, huh?
Robin: Shut up.

~¤~

Lily: (waking up suddenly) Crap! Band! We forgot a band! It's just gonna be silence and then people chewing.

1x21 -  Milk

Older Ted: Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.

~¤~

Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.

~¤~

Robin: Need a ride, cowboy?
Ted: Sorry, I don't get in vans with strangers.
Robin: Hmmm, too bad. I've got candy.
Ted: Candy!

~¤~

Robin: I thought it might look cool. Of course, my colorist took "highlights" to mean I want to look like a tiger. Hence the hat.
Ted: Oh, I got to see this!
Robin: No way!
Ted: Please? I bet it doesn't look that bad. I bet it looks grrrrrrrrrrrreat!

~¤~

Waitress: Be careful, the plate is very hot!
Ted: Oh go on, touch it.
Lily: Ahh. Sweet damn, that's a hot plate!

 

1x22 -  Come on

Ted: Robin! Hey!! Robin!!! Oh, thank God you're here!
Robin: My camping trip got rained out!
Ted: I know; I'm sorry.
Robin: ..It's all your fault?!
Ted: Yeah, it is. Come down here.
Robin: But it's pouring! You come up!
Ted: No, you have to come down here!
Robin: Why?
Ted: Why? Because I MADE IT RAIN!!! That's what I did today!!! And that's enough! I..I've done my part, now GET DOWN HERE!!!
Robin: I'm not dressed, Ted! Come up!
Ted: I'm not coming up there, Robin. I'm not. You HAVE to come down here!
(Robin contemplates going outside, looks at the blue french horn Ted gave her, and decides to go outside. As soon as she opens her door, Ted's there.)
Robin: I was gonna...
Ted: I know.
(they kiss)

~¤~

(Ted trying to make it rain)
Ted: Come on! Come On! COME ON!
(it starts to rain)
Barney: Oh, Come ON!

~¤~

Penelope: Okay, crouch down and bend over a little bit.
Barney: Wow, it took 5 shots of tequila to get you in that position.
Penelope: I will throw you off this roof.
Barney: So much of your mom in you...

~¤~

Lily: So what's this big, beautiful, romantic gesture?
Ted: I am going to make her...a mix CD. (Pause) No, I'm kidding. I got a plan.

~¤~

Ted: Have you ever seen a rain dance?
Penelope: (weakly) I've seen a filmstrip.
Ted: Terrific...Uh, look I should run. I'm getting brain surgery from some guy who's seen a couple of episodes of ER.